Change

We talked about how to motivate people to change, or to make a change, or to help make a change this week.

The speaker was really great, and she got me thinking about what I want to change and how I want to change what I want to change... that was an awkward sentence...

Anyways, we are suppose to take our leadership role and determine what we want to change about the organization and how we want to change it. I honestly think that Adaptive Aquatics and Gym Buddies are run great, and I don't see any reason why I should try to change them. But I'll keep digging.

Until I find something out, I'll just write about what I want to change about myself and how I'm going to change it.

I'd like to say my morning prayers more often and just better. I often find myself saying my morning prayers in the shower when I've really woken up, with the hot stream of water hitting my back. I guess at least I'm saying them, but I'd like to really work on saying my prayers when I wake up.

How do I plan on doing that? Well, baby steps of course! hahaha, I figure if I can do it one morning then I'll be able to do it the next. Saying my prayers is pretty basic, so I think its not a matter of setting up steps to achieve the change, but rather just deciding to do it, and going for it. So thats what I'll do.

Also! I'd like to write in my journal more often! I used to write in it aaaaalll the time, but now it's very seldom. And I really want to remember my freshmen year here. I can do that by setting my journal in an easily accessible place. So I need to figure out how to get it close to my bed. Also, I can try to have it out in the open more, so I think about it a little bit. And last, I'm gonna try to get a cool pen that will make me want to write more... as silly as that sounds, a good pen can make a huge difference.

Anyways, it's been real!

PEACE!

Goals

So, I wasn't in lecture last week, but I heard they talked about the importance of goals.

Whenever I think about goals, I automatically think about my swim team back in high school and my swim coach there. Mr. Olson, my high school swim coach, is a very goal orientated guy. At the first practice we would always swim for 10 minutes at whatever pace we wanted with the instruction to think about the goals we'd achieved in past years and the goals we wanted to achieve in the new year. I always enjoyed this because it seemed to start me off on the right foot. I would figure out where I was at that time, and would determine where I would be by the end of the season.

After formulating my goals Mr. Olson would have us write them down and turn them into him. This solidified what I had put my mind to do and I received the moral support and direction from my coach to help me get there.

Even though at the beginning of the season the goals I had set up for myself seemed near impossible and would only come from a perfect season, I always achieved them! There was just something about having an idea of where I wanted to be that would drive me during practices and urged me to work harder and harder. Achieving those goals was always the best feeling in the world, knowing that I had worked really hard and had achieved something that I had once thought would be nearly impossible.

Having learned this, I imagine the same goal setting strategies that I used in swimming are the same strategies I should use in setting goals for myself throughout life. I need to know where I am and where I want to go in order to help me achieve the impossible. I think that it's also important to have big visionary goals, but inside of those goals, smaller ones that help you feel like your on the right track when you accomplish them and help you reach your big goals.

My leadership role doesn't seem to be one that is too goal oriented, but in my leadership roles in the future, in church, on my mission, in other leadership positions in my future, I know its important to always start off with a goal. What do I want to do? and then have little goals, How do I get there? and go from there!

THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!

Teamwork

TEAMWORK!

This week in leadership we talked about teamwork and how crucial it is. The Athletic Director came and spoke to us about his experiences on the different teams he's played for. He was in the NFL for I think 7 seasons with the 49ers and he won something like 4 superbowls! Anyways, He was a great speaker and taught us a lot about what teamwork is and what it should look like, but what stood out to me most was his theory on Firelighters and Firefighters.

A Firelighter is a person in your life that inspires you and lights that fire of passion inside you. A Firefighter is a person who seeks to put out those fires, these are the nay sayers, those who don't believe in you and tell you your dreams are too big.

What does this have to do with teamwork?

Well, how can a team function well together when there are Firefighters? I mean sure, its reasonable to be realistic, but when you have a team that wants to accomplish anything, its as important as anything that there be a goal and the passion to achieve that goal. In order for a team to be productive and to do work, the team must have Firelighters.

In my leadership role, I want to try to be more of a Firelighter. I want to be a person that others can look to when they need a pick-me-up. I want to be a light that seeks to light the flame of passion in the hearts of those around me. And I want to surround myself with Firelighters so I can always have a productive team that always works together and wastes no energy on a resolving conflict within a the team.

Ethical Leadership

We talked about Ethical Leadership this week in class. Ethical Leadership to me is the moral stance a leader has in their position. Whether they have good morals or bad morals will make or break their reputation and/or their success. You would think, and hope, that a person with good morals would always be more successful than a person with bad, but that usually isn't the case. In this day and age, greed and deceit are often the things that catapult people to the top of corporations. It is refreshing however, to hear of people with good ethical leadership every once in a while on top.

I wish that everyone just chose that route. I'm sure in the millennium things will be different, but for now you just gotta decide whats more important, good moral ethical leadership, with strong character and integrity, or bad moral ethical leadership, that might get you places, but you're reputation would be like moldy swiss cheese, full of holes and bad nasty rotten pieces.

In my leadership role, there is really not very much room to apply this principle, but I think that just going to gym kids and adaptive aquatics when I say I am going to go and being fully engaged and active the entire time will help me develop good ethical leadership. I will develop my integrity which will create good ethics in my leadership by going to volunteer when I say I will volunteer. And like I said before, part of being of service is being fully engaged during the time with the kids, so I will spend my time there wisely.

Anyways, thats what I plan on doing and I'm excited to practice good ethical leadership!

Conflict Resolution

What is conflict resolution?

Well, according to freedictionary.com conflict resolution is:

Conflict resolution is a range of methods of eliminating sources of conflict. The term "conflict resolution" is sometimes used interchangeably with the term dispute resolution or alternative dispute resolution. Processes of conflict resolution generally include negotiation, mediation, and diplomacy. The processes of arbitration, litigation, and formal complaint processes such as ombudsman processes, are usually described with the term dispute resolution, although some refer to them as "conflict resolution." Processes of mediation and arbitration are often referred to as alternative dispute resolution.

Well, after that rather lengthy definition, hahahaha, I think we kind of get what it is.

There are five different styles we prefer in different situations that help us resolve conflict. These styles are:

Competitive

Collaborative

Compromising

Accommodating

and Avoiding

I personally use the collaborative style more.

In my leadership role, I will use these different styles to adapt to situations and resolve whatever conflicts arise. This way, I can become a professional conflict resolutioner! Hurray!

Love,

Christian

Service

Service is totally number one.

Service Leadership is also number one.

The lecture Brother Cox gave about Service Leadership was number one!

He gave a bunch of stories about service and notable people in history who did work while doing service.

In my leadership role, well, its more of a service role anyways, but a leadership role nonetheless. I plan on contributing more of my time serving the kids I chill with by going twice a week instead of just once.

That will be way fun, and I'm suuuper excited! Ksweet... I love service and I love service leadership!

Manana!

Love,

Christian

aka. Service Leader extraordinare

Book Report and Public Speaking

I read a book this past week called 17 Essential Qualities of an Effective Teammate.

The book was great! I learned a bunch about these different qualities and learned more about being a good teammate/leader.

I was then asked to give a presentation on the book! Woohooo! That was great. I focused on three qualities I liked in the book; Commitment, Encouragement, and Relationality.

My head is killing me, sooo, I think I'm gonna end this blog early, but!

I really really had a good time learning about public speaking and giving my presentation.

From my book, I learned that it's important to have Commitment, be encouraging, and focus on relations to be a good team member, and in my leadership position, I plan on improving in all three qualities to help become a better team member.

Time and Stress Management

Time time time, wheres all the time gone?!

I love life, and I try hard to manage my time well, but sometimes things can get a little crazy! I'm sure everyone has had a time in their life when they wish they could just press a button and have things done for them. But thats not how it works I guess...

Time management is a skill that is probably sooo useful! I wish I could say I'm skilled in time management but that would be a huge lie! I'm horrible at time management... I'm so forgetful sometimes it's scary.

Luckily our lecture in Student Development was about Time Management!

What did I learn? Well, let me tell you.

Time Management and Stress often go hand in hand. If you have good time management, the less likely you are to be stressed out last minute about something. We call things that stress us out "stressors." Some of my stressors are exams, a dirty room, assignments, lack of sleep, etc... So, when unavoidable stress comes along with the hectic life of a freshmen college student, what should I do?! Well, we learned about some awesome stress coping skills from our lecturer.

In order to know how to cope with stress it's important to be aware of you're negative stress symptoms. For instance, when I get stressed out, I often slow down and act like whatever I'm stressing out about doesn't really matter. Hahaha, kind of weird, but I think I do that because I'm used to watching my siblings stress out and how it gets everyone up tight and I've never wanted to be like that so I do the extreme opposite til' I explode. So I know when I'm slowing down and pretending like things don't care, I'm pretty stinking stressed out.

After I realize how stressed out I am, it's important to apply stress reducing skills. One we learned about that I like was doing something constructive. Getting something accomplished. It makes sense because usually my stress comes from homework load, so if I just sit down and get some homework done, I won't be as stressed out. Ya dig!?

But! To avoid stress attacks altogether, it's important to have good time management.

Good time management starts with determining the value of things you have to do. For example, checking my facebook has a low value cause it's not important or urgent, whereas studying for an upcoming exam has a higher value because it's both important and urgent.

After determining the value of the things I'm doing I should try to evaluate my goals and objectives. In determining my goals and objectives, I will be able to fully organize and prioritize the things I have to do. The values they have will help me take prioritize them from most to least important.

Anyways, I kind of rambled, but basically I'm just working through this plan to master my time management and hopefully reduce my stress. My leadership role isn't very stressful, but life certainly is, and I feel like when I know I can take the time to go serve I am doing well as far as stress goes. Cause if I'm maxed out, then I wouldn't want to go serve at all. So, to apply this principle, I'm really going to try to reevaluate what I have going and prioritize those things that are important. Then I'll take action and keep my stress down so that when I go to volunteer in my leadership position, I'm not worrying about other things.

That way I can serve full heartedly!

Divine-Centered Leadership

Awe! Finally! The blog I've been itching to write!

The reason why this class is so great is because it focuses on emulating the leadership characteristics Jesus Christ possessed. I had an assigned reading for this week called Divine-Centered Leadership and it had these five main points that defined this type of leadership. The five points are:

1. Sharing an inspired vision

2. Challenging unrighteousness

3. Modeling the way, the truth, and the life

4. Knowing each heart

5. Serving others so they may act

Although I will be focusing on all of these five aspects of Divine-Centered Leadership, there was one that really stuck out to me.

I sincerely believe that a really good leader can understand and "know" each heart. Imagine, a leader in church or in public office who tried to know the hearts of those they serve. I want to believe that everyone in public office tries to know the hearts of their constituents. But time and time again I've seen selfish interests control the power struggles in politics. If ALL leaders took the time to understand and know and actively do that which would benefit those they serve, life would be better in many ways.

So, I'd like to unravel this part of Divine-Centered Leadership and try to learn and grow from it.

In my leadership role, I work with children who are incapable of most everyday activities. They are socially undeveloped for their age and have a hard time knowing right from wrong.

How do you know the heart of someone you can't really talk to?

Well, it's often been said that actions speak louder then words. I have this really great friend I've played with the past three weeks. His name is Phoenix. He's 6 years old and he loves to knock over bowling pins. We could play with those bowling pins for hours, hahaha. His laugh is contagious and he's ticklish all over. I have a great time hanging out with him!

Last week I had a near spiritual experience with Phoenix. We we're playing with the bowling pins as usual. He spotted a big medicine ball on the other side of the gym and took off running. I followed him and asked if he wanted to bounce! He didn't respond, but just rolled right onto it and fell off towards the side. I picked him up, rolled him on top of the ball and started bouncing him up and down off the ball. He instantly started laughing and smiling which made me laugh and smile and pretty much everyone around us smile and laugh. Phoenix was in his own perfect world, just smiling and laughing the cares of those around him away. I instantly felt a warmth inside me that just spread through my entire body. I wanted to fast forward 80 years to be able to talk to him in heaven. I got a glimpse of the kind of love Jesus has for all of us. I felt like I learned a bit about the little heart of my friend Phoenix.

Looking back on this experience I understand that it just takes time and interest to know the hearts of those you seek to serve. It requires you to slow down your life and put yourself in their shoes.

Jesus Christ always took the time to know the hearts of his disciples. He had a complete understanding of the heart of humanity and showed his love by atoning for the sins of the world.

I'll apply this part of Divine-Centered Leadership by slowing down my schedule and spending time and showing interest in the activities of my friends from school and at Gym Kids. I love the time I've spent with the Gym Kid friends so far. Like the time me and Phoenix played on the ball, I want to be able make the children laugh and smile. I want to brighten their days.

In doing that, I'm sure I'll be able to learn as much about life from them as anyone. Theres always a special feeling that comes from being spending time with disabled children. They have the ability to love in the purest way.

I just hope that one day I can love everyone like my special friends. I want to, like Christ, know the hearts of everyone I come in contact with.

And now I know, all it takes is time and interest.

Thanks Phoenix. You're the man.

Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator

Whats in a personality test?

Well you guys, take it or leave it, I think this Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator was pretty awesome!

It helped me understand the challenges I might have that go along with my personality, along with some strengths.

My favorite part about this whole test assignment is that I can use the information that the test gathered for the rest of my life. I have a firmer grasp on what I'm like and I have an idea of what kind of jobs I might be interested in pursuing.

But in my immediate life, I can use this information to help improve my ability to fulfill my role as a leader. For instance, I know that since I'm an extravert, I prefer to focus on the outer world of people and activities. With this understanding, in the Gym Kids/Adaptive Aquatics programs I can us my preference to try to help the kids I play with come out of their shells and help them enjoy their time with us.

This test was awesome, and I'm excited about the different things that I found out about myself. I hope that I can use the information I learned to improve my leadership and my character.

Leadership Interview

I had the opportunity to interview one of the biggest influences and leaders in my life, Mr. Ben Betteridge. We've grown up together and he's been a the greatest builder in my foundation in the gospel. The best part about Ben is he probably doesn't even realize influence he's had on people. He has never tried to lead people with words nor has he ever desired a leadership position, but by his example, he has been a huge influence on me and many of my friends.

Here are a couple select question and answers from the interview:

How do you define leadership?

· A leader to me is someone who can lead both vocally and by complete example.

How does a leader influence others for good?

· By showing others how to be positive and how to be a positive influence on others and not getting down on themselves or others. Especially not others. And never criticize unless it is very clear that it is meant to be constructive to the person you’re trying to influence. If you want to show someone who doesn’t like you how to do something, forget about it, cause its not going to happen.

What qualities do you think a good leader needs to have?

· Patience*

· Outgoing

· High Values

· Integrity

· Walk the talk, but don’t talk about your walk.

If you were to choose one person who represented the ideal leader, who would it be?

· President Monson

o As far as I know, he’s not like some church leaders who are imposing on others. He’s a leader who sees himself as a member of the body. He’s not condescending.

What makes a leader a leader?

· A leader obtains his legitimacy only by the agreement of his peers.

What stuck out to me most from the interview was this:

Walk the talk, but don’t talk about your walk.

I just think that statement defines Ben's style of leadership. It shouldn't matter who knows about what you did, or all the awesome things you've done. What matters is that you represent what you think is good.

This upcoming week in my leadership roles, I'm going to try to be a "silent" leader. I want to just represent who I am by how I act, rather than talking about it. I'm going to try to be less of a visible leader, and more of a supporting character. Granted a movie can't be made with one main actor, what makes a good movie is the whole cast. So being a supporting actor isn't a bad thing or a lowering of my sights or what have you. I think that focusing on this aspect of my leadership will really help me grow! Thanks Ben!

Situational Leadership

So, this week during class we learned about a method or theory of Leadership. This method is called situation leadership. It's pretty self explanatory, but basically it's the idea that different situations demand different kinds of leadership. A really good leader can adapt their leadership style to fit the situation they are in at almost the push of a button. An awesome example of this came to mind when I was in New Testament.

Jesus is most well known for how meek and kind he was to others. He loved everyone and suffered pain and death to save us from our sins. But there is one specific instance in the New Testament that I read about today that suggests Jesus can be very forward. In John 1:13-16 Jesus has entered Jerusalem and has been observing the Jew's in the temple. He sees people selling oxen, sheep and doves, and "the changers of money sitting." As he sees this it seems that he makes a "scourge of small cords" or a whip and drives everyone out of the temple, saying, "take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise."

It's obvious that Jesus was angry with the disrespect the people were showing to the temple. But, he didn't lose it. At this time in his ministry he was needed to be very direct and forceful in his leadership, but right after, in the next chapter, Jesus is teaching and healing and testifying and speaking revelations of the divinity of his life.

In this divine centered leadership style class, everything that we learn is helping our progression towards becoming more like Christ. I think that developing good situational leadership is something that will help me be more patient and observant in how I act towards others in all different types of situations.

This method is an awesome way to think about leadership and I'm really happy I got to learn about it this week. As I serve in the Adaptive Aquatics and Gym Kids programs, I am going to try to adapt to the situations I am in and display the best style of leadership for that situation. We'll see how it goes!

Leaders In History

Who do you think of when you hear "Leaders in History?"

Lincoln?

Washington?

Ghandi?

MLK?

Winston Churchill?

Mother Theresa?

Jesus?

possibly Hitler?

Stalin?

Mussolini?

Joseph Kony? (look him up, he's a very bad man)

Everyone listed above was a leader in history one way or another. So what sets the people in the first group apart from the people in the second?

Ohhhhh, I dunno, the people in the first group cared for human life maybe?

Obviously, but what power did the people in the first group have that has made us revere them? Not just what sets them apart from a group of dictators and mass murders, but what sets them apart from us? What did they each do to deserve a place among the most influential leaders of all time? And how can we become more like them?

What thats stands out to me most is they each had a purpose. They either died fulfilling that purpose, or saw that their purpose was met. But they didn't just have a purpose though, their purpose was sincerely good and their conviction to accomplish that purpose was strong. That shows loads about their character. They must all have been extremely perseverant. They truly believed in their cause and were able to convince others the importance thereof.

Do we all have a purpose to fulfill? Do we have goals and aspirations? If so, are they selfish? Will others benefit from the achievement of such goals? Do our friends and family share our desire to accomplish them?

(From here on out, the leaders I'm going to refer to do not include the people in the second group, cause those guys were just plain bad)

I know that each of these leaders wanted to make a change, but I'm also pretty sure none of them expected to make such great a impact. They're probably all pleased in heaven with how things turned out, but I doubt any them knew when they decided to make a change that we would be talking about them today.

So should it matter how big or small, or how personal or global our goals are? Probably not, but what should matter is our intentions are sincere and our conviction is real.

What I learned from analyzing these leaders is that I need to have a purpose and the conviction to accomplish that purpose. I understand better that, if a person wants to make lasting change, he or she needs to find a purpose and with strong conviction, see that that purpose is fulfilled.

So, whats my purpose exactly? Well, I think it varies from time to time but right now, it's indefinitely preparing to serve a mission.

What will it be after my mission? More then likely deciding on and pursuing a career that will allow me to support a family.

During that time, I'll definitely have to focus on starting a family.

After I've started a career and had a family, what's next?

There are lots of possibilities, and I've got a lot of time to think about them.

But for now I need to reel in my imagination and focus on the purpose at hand. Thanks Winston, George and Abraham... I've learned a great lesson. (I'm not discounting Ghandi, MLK, Mother Theresa or Jesus in anyway, I just thought Winston, George and Abraham sounded better in the sentence.)

My Leadership Role

So, for this awesome Student Development class that I'm taking, I have to find a leadership role and apply the things I learn in class to that role. Sweet, huh?! Thats what I thought til' I started looking for a leadership role I could use!

I waited for awhile hoping I would get a calling in my ward that I could apply to this project. Something easy like, Ward Door Greeter... Then I could write about something like brightening peoples day! Woohoo! But all my wishful thinking backfired and I have yet to receive any type of calling.

But I've decided that was a good thing, because this project is suppose to stretch us... So instead of waiting for a leadership role to come to me, I went out and got one! Hurray!

I went to the Y-Serve office (which is just a place people can go to serve or learn about service opportunities) and had an awesome chat with one of the executives there. He gave me a list of service programs currently at BYU and asked me to fill out an officer request form. I filled out the form, but I really don't think I want to be an officer, too much time. Ehem, but anyways, I found this awesome program called Adaptive Aquatics. You meet every Thursday or Friday for one hour and work with special needs kids in the water! You work with them on their motor skills and also their social skills.

I have yet to attend this great service opportunity (they don't start meeting til' Thursday), but I am soo excited to be able to apply the knowledge I gain from this class to such an awesome and fun activity.

I'll keep posting how everything goes. And if any other leadership opportunities pop up in my life, I'll be sure to write about those.

I am sooo grateful for such a wonderful college, where leadership is centered around serving and not decorating for a dance... hahaha.

Goodbye High School Leadership

Hello Divine Centered Leadership

:)

Leadership.. WHAWW?!

The past year or so has been a really big one for me as far as the leadership experience I have gained. I was the ASB Treasurer at Curtis Senior High School, I went to numerous camps to improve my "leadership" skills, I was a leader where I worked and attended a Foundation of Leadership conference right before I entered my Freshmen year at BYU. So, if you asked me what I thought leadership was, I'd like to think I'd be pretty qualified to answer, and hopefully you would agree.

But one of the only things I've learned at leadership conferences and as the ASB Treasurer is leaders are mostly motivated by pride and are too worried about their self image to stand up for an ideal that might define them and their personal beliefs. Leaders are too often grey area people. They are people who are very agreeable because they don't disagree with anything. But since when has anyone who didn't stand for anything make a lasting change?

Anyways, basically, what I want to say is that the only time I truly feel like I grow as a leader is when I serve others. I've determined that this life is about serving people around us and having Christ-like love for family, friends and strangers.

I'm soo happy now, that I can learn about leadership from the perspective of the gospel. Where I will be given the opportunity to learn from the greatest example of leadership ever.

This class is totally gonna be awesome! And I'm soo pumped to publish this blog post! WHAWWW?!!

Hope it all makes grammatical sense.

PEACE!

Macy Halladay

I am currently using my laptop in the middle of class.... mwahahahahaha!